So…. I attended a lap-dance class at Aradia Fitness this week. No lie, I really did. I know you’ll be surprised when I say this, but I’ve never actually considered a career in “exotic dancing”… but I do love to try new things, laugh at myself (and others), and push myself to build confidence. Lap-dance class? Fits that bill perfectly!
I was a bit frenzied to run errands and get to the class across-town during rush-hour traffic, so I didn’t really put a lot of thought into my outfit for the class… which is just unfortunate because no one can feel sexy in baggy warm-up pants, old lady heels (with good support for the still-healing ankle!), and a fleece pullover. Definite mood-killer. Yep, my husband is a lucky man, right? Ha!
Ours was a small class with just a few people (yay for minimal public humiliation!) and the lesson began with a few basic moves. The instructor would demonstrate the move (such things as “sexy walk”, “cowgirl”, “body wave”) and then we would make an awkward attempt at copying her. After running through the individual moves, she started stringing them along in what I thought was a highly choreographed routine… I mean, isn’t a lap-dance really just wiggling yourself at or on someone sitting in a chair? Um, yeah, apparently not.
We practiced the entire “dance” a few times without props, shoes, or music. And then, we put the heels on… and found that our center of gravity had changed significantly (read: I almost fell over… again), so we walked through the moves slowly in our heels before attempting the whole thing set to music!
I really kept trying to relax and not be such a spaz about getting the moves right or my timing, but no dice… I was AWKward for pretty much the entire class. But I had fun, got a decent sweat going, and have something to chuckle at for a while. Oh, and if the SAP market dips again, I’ve already diversified my talents!
What’s the most daring thing you’ve done recently?
P.S. A guy friend of mine recently said that stripping is not about on-stage presence… I replied, “of course not, it’s really about math skills”. Ha!